I don’t need to tell you that you are what you eat. We learned that long ago in school or from our parents when it came to healthy or unhealthy eating and the associated consequences. But what if I also told you that you are what you speak? Bet that knocked some of your socks off.
I had this special experience recently with a friend who was struggling to let go of something. When she would describe the situation to me she would preface it with saying “I’m an over thinker.” This was something she supposedly knew about herself – a constant and unchangeable trait that saw her through all situations. The issue that she was battling was one thing but in my conversation with her, I saw the opportunity to re-adjust and take a look at the situation from a macro lens.
Much of the reason my friend kept coming back to this situation in her mind was because it was negative, left unresolved, and most importantly, she’s an over thinker so that’s just what she does. I decided to challenge that a little bit and see if she could consider that ‘being an over thinker’ was a label, an identity that had been created by herself or someone else. It was born out of behaviour, pressure, thoughts, fear, and all of the life-things that happen when you’re a living, breathing human being.
She wasn’t born an over thinker. She became one and the pressures around her have helped her to stay one. By repeating this as an inevitable fact about herself, she was only solidifying it deeper and giving permission to accept it about herself.
So what do you label yourself as? How do you describe yourself over and over again? What if you gave yourself permission to be something positive just like you give yourself permission to be something negative? For example, in my friend’s case, what if she said ‘I’m good at letting go’ as opposed to ‘I’m an over thinker.’ Or say you label yourself as a ‘judgemental person,’ decide that you are ‘accepting and open.’ Pick the exact label that is positive and healthy for you and talk about yourself in that regard. And don’t forget to keep your friends and family in the loop about your transition. Let them know that you don’t talk about yourself like that anymore and they shouldn’t either.
If you are what you speak, speak kindly. Speak boldly, courageously, and detach yourself from your behaviour in a way that allows you to detach from the negative labels that are holding you back in present and future encounters. Maybe you exhibited ‘over thinker’ behaviour but if you allow that to simply be your behaviour and not who you are, you allow yourself to make a different choice the next time. What a beautiful thing!
If your labeling habits run deep, I can help you. Coaching is a great place to detach from the self-sabotaging you’ve been doing for years and latch onto a more kick-ass way of being in this world. Just send me a quick note and let’s do this thing.
Have a great week worthy, beauts!